It’s been almost thirteen years since my father’s passing. During his illness time moved slowly in some respects and swiftly in others like they were experienced dance partners.

The strong man I once knew was diagnosed with stomach cancer in February, 2001 only to be ravaged and weakened to the point of surrender immediately prior to Independence Day a few months later.

In a sense he celebrated his independence from the constraints of his earthly body, no longer to be bound by the illness which took him.

He never heard the phrase, “a post-911 world”.

If he were alive we would be celebrating his octogenarian status this year.

He is dearly missed and thought of often.

I would often hear my mother say, “like father, like son.” I could not think of a better compliment one could pay me.

My Dad was far from perfect and I never expected him to be.

My Dad’s own father “abandoned ship” when he was a child, leaving him and his older brother, Bobo, to be raised in the late 1930’s and 1940’s by a single mom who could not speak or hear.

His life was far from ideal and yet, by the grace of God, he steered clear of long term trouble despite the absence of his own father.

He did not speak the words, “I love you” often.

However, his actions spoke volumes of the love he rarely uttered. To be honest, I wish he would have said it more.

What my ears rarely heard, my heart completely understood.

• He came to most if not all of my ballgames and was often my coach.
• He cheered me on in whatever endeavors I undertook.
• After stealing a box of chalk (why chalk?) from the corner store, he made me return the stolen goods, pay the lady double, and ask for forgiveness. He made sure I got the message.
• When I went to school, paddling was permitted. If I deserved a “swat” at school “double jeopardy” was earned at home as a reinforcement to stay out of trouble.
• He took time to play catch with me.
• I inherited my beliefs and moral compass from him.
• He struggled to make ends meet and worked overtime on many occasions to do what he could do for our family.
• He demonstrated God to me.
• He sacrificed greatly for all of us, often going without so we could have what we needed.
• In a nutshell, my Dad was PRESENT in my life.
• My Dad was, is, and will always be my hero.  

Most importantly, my Dad patterned for me what it takes to be a good dad despite not having an example in his own life.

God used him to prepare me for one of my greatest privileges – to be called “Dad” by each of my three daughters – Brittany, Jessica, and Bethany.

From the moment each of them were born my heart was captivated.

I still am captivated by the beautiful young women they are and are becoming.

I know they will read this – I love you each dearly – THANK YOU for putting up with me and for allowing me to be your Daddy!

I know we cannot be together this Father’s Day – no worries there. You will be greatly in my heart and thoughts this day.

In addition to my wife, their Mom, Jackie – they are the loves of my life!

In their lives I have been given the honor to be:

• Their first love.
• A provider.
• The one they ran to when I came home from work – much to the delight of their Mom who needed a break!
• A counselor.
• A first line of defense against all boy intruders.
• Their basketball coach.
• An example of Christ, despite my flaws and shortcomings.
• The one who walked each of them down the aisle to be given in marriage.
• Their friend.

This week I had the joy of watching Mary Poppins, with my three and a half year old granddaughter, Danalyn.

Talk about a step down memory lane!

A particular line in the movie spoke to me with much impact.

At the end of the Step in Time scene (think chimney sweep) Bert is talking to Mr. Banks, the soon to be fired bank executive and father of two often disregarded children.

Bert recites in song the following stanza:

“You’ve got to grind, grind, grind, at that grindstone. Though childhood slips like sand through a sieve. And all too soon they’ve up and grown… and then they’ve flown… and it’s too late for you to give.”

For those of you reading this that might be a dad with little ones, heed the moments you have with your children as you are shaping the next generation.

For those of us whose children are now grown, they still need us.

The form has changed from day to day involvement. However “fathering” is a lifelong adventure with its many types of ebb and flows.

Many of us past the mid-century mark may recall the TV series, “Father Knows Best”.  As much as an earthly Dad might like to think he knows best, our humanity at times fails us.

However, each of us has been placed in our respective families by a Father who really does know best.

You have an assignment.

Be present.

Love your children.

Make a difference!

I’d like to share with you a link to Andy Andrews podcast, In the Loop, which I came across this week entitled “A Brief History of My Father”.

It is well worth the few minutes to tune in. Simply click on the hyperlink in the title.

Happy Father’s Day to all Dads!

What memories do you have of your father or in being a Dad?