Today, December 24th, is my birthday. Happy Birthday to me!
Sixty-six years of life lived, which I will celebrate with my family. I am grateful to be alive as the possibility of not being here has been very real. Allow me to explain.
Several weeks ago, as autumn was about to hand the baton to winter, I whispered a prayer which went something like this.
“Lord, I am asking you to reveal yourself to me in a way in which only you could do during this Christmas season, and I ask you to meet me in a sacred holy place. I am desperate for you.”
My desperation prayer arose from my heart for a myriad of reasons of which I will not elaborate now.
My prayer carried the essence of a George Bailey, It’s a Wonderful Life call for help.
The season in which we have walked the past two years has been trying, difficult, and sustained. Our faith has been tested and despite the challenges, we have passed the tests.
Little did I realize that my prayer would be answered in a uniquely personal way.
Scripture says it like this:
“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” James 1:17 NLT
The answer I prayed for and expected was nowhere near the special delivery packaging used to wrap this gift.
Over the past few months my physical battery has been low, desiring any legitimate recharge to get me over the hump. It would not come.
My proverbial car was stuck in neutral and no matter what I tried; I could not get out of the ditch.
In early November, I began to experience physical symptoms akin to a firm hand being placed on the center of my chest. It got my attention. I did not want to overreact and at the same time I wanted to keep an eye on what might be happening.
The symptoms reemerged with mild to moderate exertion. I brought this to Jackie’s attention and although I felt like there was no immediate danger, I did not realize a time-bomb was ticking.
We attended our church’s mid-week service on December 6th and the symptoms intensified then subsided. We asked for prayer and made our way home. The next morning, we called to make an appointment with our PCP. During the visit we were directed to go immediately to the emergency room where I was subsequently admitted on December 7th as I was experiencing a heart attack.
Sobering.
I was scheduled for a heart catheterization on December 8th, which indicated a 100% blockage in my Left Anterior Descending (LAD) artery. A blockage in one’s left anterior descending artery can lead to a fatal type of heart attack known as the widowmaker.
I dodged a proverbial and real bullet aimed at my heart.
The only thing which prevented a fatal event was two collateral arteries formed around the LAD to carry blood flow. I firmly believe this was the Lord’s doing.
I became a prime candidate for robot assisted LAD coronary artery bypass graph (CABG). This was preferred for several reasons. The procedure would be less invasive, the recovery time would be shorter, and one of the leading surgeons to perform this surgery was on staff at the hospital.
However, the surgery schedule was booked, and I was informed I would be sent home with medications and would need to wait 2 to 4 weeks for a surgery date to be scheduled.
On the day I was to be sent temporarily home, I took a short walk in the hallway at the hospital and the symptoms returned. The decision was made to keep me in the hospital as we awaited the schedule to open.
Surgery occurred on December 15th and I was discharged from the hospital on December 19th.
Twelve glorious days of Christmas on the Cardiac Unit for a new me to begin to take shape. On the lighter side, I now know my name and birthdate as I was asked to confirm these identifiers hundreds of times by welling meaning nurses and aides.
At this juncture I am home and in the recovery process. This will take time. However, it is much better than the alternative.
There have been countless God winks sent our direction in a variety of ways in which the Father was simply saying, “I am here; be not afraid.”
Tears come daily and form often.
A song hits me the right way and I cry.
I watch a Christmas movie with my wife and I get misty eyed.
Jackie has weathered this storm with me and she, with the help of God, has more than endured. She has much on her plate and our request for prayer is highly appreciated as we navigate these, and other, waters.
I think of my daughters, sons-in-law, and the grandchildren. My heart rejoices in a good, good way as I get to experience their love all the more.
I understand the concern and relief in my extended family, and I am grateful to swing the bat another day.
We are appreciative of the direct and indirect support of family and friends during this season of our lives as well as the countless prayers offered on our behalf.
Over the past few months, I can recount many occasions where God had His protective hand on me.
- Several times in the late fall I was inclined to head out on a bicycle ride. However, I was prevented from going each time.
- Although our homeowner’s association is responsible for fall leaf cleanup, I typically lend a hand to get some fresh air. My end of the bargain is moving huge piles of leaves approximately 125 feet to the front of the house near the road. To think of what could have been makes me appreciate today.
- Driving round trip to North Carolina for Thanksgiving could have been detrimental and it was not.
- I am sure there we many other interventions on my behalf, for which I am thankful.
As mentioned above, “Every good and perfect gift is from above…”
During this Christmas season, my encouragement to you is to take a moment to discover the simple things in life and to turn these moments into a prayer of thanksgiving.
The perfect gift may not be wrapped with accompanying ribbon and bows. However, all that it takes is to open the gift(s) and to receive them.
The perfect gift will deliver a sense of His Presence like no other.
My assignment here has not been concluded. God’s plans for me are paramount and I will submit to His leading. As I look to the horizon it is with a sense of acknowledgement to see every good and perfect gift.
I get another chance for now without leaving the family I love. I would ask your prayers for a full recovery, wisdom, all provision, and the Lord to sustain us.
Thanks for listening.
One more thing – Merry Christmas!