Recently, I recalled the experiences of teaching each of my three grown daughters how to drive.  They all did well in the learning process and are accomplished drivers today.

However, at the time, I was not accustomed to giving control of the car to a “would be” driver and most likely had a few internal tremors.  I wanted to hold onto the wheel!

There are crossroads in life that we all face from time to time that extracts a word from the dictionary that most of us would rather avoid.  The word is U-N-C-E-R-T-A-I-N-T-Y.

For some it may be dealing with a health issue.  For others it might be a situation centered around a job.  Strained relationships also come to mind when thinking of potential situations that might be uncertain.  Heck, most of the time the weather is uncertain.

I am reminded of an experience I had during the summer of 1997 when I was involved in an incident in which I most certainly felt out of control and highly uncertain.  Please allow me to share it with you.

Our family of five raised the necessary funds and decided to join a team from the church we were attending at the time to go on a short-term mission trip to the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation in South Dakota.

It was mid-July and amidst a sweltering heat wave, we left central Pennsylvania mid-morning on a Friday and arrived in Pine Ridge on Sunday evening, completing the 1,500-mile journey.  There are many stories contained within the journey that will be left to another day to possibly tell.

There were approximately thirty people on this trip.  Our convoy consisted of two-15 passenger vans, a mini-van, and a small moving truck.

The van I drove repeatedly incurred mechanical problems with the fuel supply throughout the trip, making it difficult to travel efficiently up hills and sustain safe highways speeds.  Two members of our team were mechanically gifted and attempted to correct the problem several times, only to have it recur later.

The schedule for Monday evening had our team traveling to a church in Pine Ridge to meet with a Native American pastor for a brief orientation about the Oglala Sioux culture and to gain an understanding about the harsh realities the people on the reservation face.

Twilight had descended and the hazy, hot, and humid high 90 degree temperatures still lingered into the evening like a wet, warm blanket.  As we left the church that evening, the van I was driving stopped and had just enough momentum for me to steer off the highway onto the side of the road.

Parked at the entrance of the local airport, essentially a landing strip with a lone beacon turning repetitiously around, we sought help.

The vans were equipped with CB radios (pre-cell phone days), so I notified the other drivers in our caravan of the apparent mechanical problem.  We decided that the remaining two vans would return to the Pine Ridge Christian Academy (PRCA), the drivers would drop off their passengers, and one van would then return to transport the rest of us back to our temporary home.

I tried once more start my van and was successful.  I pulled onto the highway, drove about two hundred yards, and the van stopped again as it came to rest on the shoulder of the unlit road.

Almost immediately, a police car pulled up beside me and the officer began to question me as to the nature of the problem. While the officer was attempting to arrange for a tow truck, A.J. appeared on the scene. We had been introduced to A.J. earlier in the day, as he was employed by the PRCA as the resident handyman.

A.J. offered to tow the disabled van by securing a chain to it from his Chevy conversion van.  I asked those traveling with me to get into the other van that had returned for us, while A.J. was set to tow me back to the PRCA.  Due to safety concerns, I needed to be the “Lone Rider” while my collective “Tonto” friends found another ride.

The access road to the PRCA was approximately six miles away.  As the conversion van A.J. was driving engaged my van, we started to make our way up a slight grade in the road.  This gave me a chance to get used to steering behind him while in tow.

As A.J. accelerated his vehicle, we soon reached speeds between 50 and 60 mph, with me in tow on a 10-foot chain!

My immediate thought was, “I thought we were going to go slow”.

As each moment passed I became increasingly nervous, exclaiming several times aloud to myself,

“Lord, I don’t like this. This is making me feel really uncomfortable!”

It was an effort to concentrate on staying directly behind A.J.’s vehicle.  I could not see anything except the back door of his van and his rear lights.  We were surrounded by absolute darkness on all sides.

I tried my best to focus on the back door of his van in an effort to determine when we were approaching a curve in the road in order to avoid having the van veer out of control.

I envisioned the tow chain breaking and the van I was driving being cast mercilessly into the dark, unsuspecting shoulder of the road and into an unknown, but present object, like a tree or a boulder.

I was also praying that A.J. would not suddenly apply his brakes.  My eyes were fixed on the unlit brake lights hoping that would stay unlit.

I silently began to ask myself questions like:

• Which part of his van was I going to go through?
• How badly would I be hurt?
• What would crashing feel like?
• Is there a hospital nearby?
• Would I die?
• If the crash did not kill me would a rattlesnake bite be the cause of death?
• How would Jackie and the kids feel about me killing over?
• What is Jackie going to tell my parents?
• How would she ship my body home?

When faced with adversity the strangest things go through one’s mind. At one point, I even wondered where Jackie would spend the life insurance proceeds if I didn’t survive! It would have been one nice shopping extravaganza to the mall!

Although I had kept my composure, I knew the turn off to the PRCA had to be less than two miles away.  I became desperate for the joy ride to end and simply prayed, “Father, I need some help and I need it NOW”!  

I radioed the other drive, Dick, in the red van following behind me that I was in trouble.  I told him I needed him to “floor it”, demanding that he pass A.J.’s van, and to try to get in front of him in an effort to slow him down.  Otherwise, there was going to be an accident.

Sweat was pouring off me as if I had just showered.  Anti-perspirant would not have worked on this night.

Jackie, two of our children, and the remainder of my former passengers in Dick’s van prayed as the high-speed drama unfolded.  Finally, Dick was able to pull in front of A.J.’s tow truck shortly before the exit to the auxiliary road.  The predicament was over or so I thought.

We still had to travel approximately one mile on a bumpy, dirt road to arrive at the PRCA.

In the best of conditions this road could not be traveled faster than 5 mph without ruining the vehicles.  Rattlesnakes were seen on this road when we traveled it earlier in the day.

As we made the slow turn off the highway and onto the access road, A.J. decided to accelerate once again.  We traveled down the road at speeds approximating 40 mph.

I literally felt like I was on a horse and back in the saddle again, being jolted up and down in the driver’s seat.

I decided to pump my brakes, forcing A.J. to drag my van.  As I would brake, I also turned the wheel to the right, eventually coming to a stop side by side with his van.  Nerve wracking would be the operative phrase as the adventure ended.

Upon stopping the vehicles at the PRCA, I simply opened my door, gave Dick the keys, and walked away in an attempt to calm myself from the intensity of the past several moments.

Although I felt totally out of control, I sensed God’s presence and His protection.  I have since recalled this adventure many times and have come to appreciate the lesson learned it has become.

It took an experience like this to teach me how to “let go of the wheel” and to absolutely trust Him with the circumstances of my life.  The lessons learned have served me well since that time.  They have made uncertainty somewhat more palatable and easier to digest.

I have come away with the distinct impression that my unexpected “thrill ride” was a really a gift from Him.  As life’s uncertainties have positioned themselves in my life one thought has been prevalent.

When reminded to let go of the wheel I’ve had a deep sense that I am being steered to safety, despite any uncertainties I might have swirling around in my mind.  Personally, I need this reminder frequently.  I need it now.

When dining at the table of uncertainty, doubt, fear, and what will tomorrow bring seem to be the menu items being served.

Why not pass up the main course and opt for dessert, giving yourself another choice?

I would encourage you to choose the following:

Let go of the wheel.  You will be surprised where your car comes to park! 

Photo: Courtesy of Brittany L. Cross

Are there things going on in your world that might asking you to let go of the wheel?