I don’t know how to describe it.
In a fog.
The gas gauge is on “E”.
Trying to keep my head above water (and given my stature the water level is naturally higher!).
All of the above soundbites are applicable to the season in which I find myself. For the record, I don’t like what I am experiencing.
I feel disjointed, frustrated at times, and most of all not living up to my expectations nor my end of the bargain.
I feel like I am letting you down.
Disappointed might be a word to describe the totality of my feelings.
Numb is another lexicon entry which might fit the bill.
A few of you have asked if something is wrong as you have sensed the roller-coaster nature of my heretofore regular posting frequency.
The answer to those questions could be yes and no.
Others might not give a hoot. I can appreciate such a sentiment as well.
I sincerely love to write and am honored by anyone, including you, who might take the time to read what I share with you via my blog.
It’s been four weeks since I last posted.
In short, it has bugged the heck out of me!
I had to talk myself into sitting down at the keyboard right now. It was a struggle!
I am not perfect, but I do try to be sincere.
My deepest desire is to walk this road together, share some meaningful thoughts, add value to you, and to make a positive difference to all who read.
Lately, when I am actually able to sit down and write it feels forced and can be best described as …
…More from my head than my heart.
…Scheduled instead of spontaneous or intentional.
When I write I do not want it to be something I “have to do”.
It is something I “get to do”.
This post is a sincere attempt to look the man in the mirror straight in the eye.
You might ask, what is going on?
The best word picture I can give you is from TV land of yester-year, of the advertising genre.
At times I have felt like I am the T-D Bol Man adrift on his boat and plunged into a watery cyclone during the flushing process!
I can give you any number of reasons (or excuses) for the word-drought.
We all have times where we have bottomed out.
I am in such a time and I have surrendered to the mandate of one word – rest!
The past year and a half has taken me on a long ride with its many twists and turns.
The trip has been accompanied by a wide range of emotions and adjustments in my life and in our life.
Although I am grateful for where the journey has taken me, I am being required to tune into what is going on inside.
This is NOT something I do innately. However, it must be done.
As I sat down to write this post, I got an email from a friend who talked about how to trust God in the dark.
Timely word indeed! It helped immensely.
What about you?
Are there things going on in your world which I have you reeling?
Can I suggest something I have learned in the process of sorting out what might be going on with me?
The lesson hinges on a small phrase – “it’s OK!”
It’s OK to give into the need to hit the “pause” button.
It’s OK to say “time out”.
It’s OK to succumb to rest.
Jesus hits the nail on the head.
During this time of year as we celebrate the Gift given to us, He puts it like this:
“Are you tired?
Burned out on religion?
Come to me.
Get away with me and you’ll recover your life.
I’ll show you how to take a real rest.
Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it.
Learn the unforced rhythms of grace.
I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you.
Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”
From The Message version – Matthew 11:28-30
Thanks for bearing with me and allowing me the space to get some junk out of my basement. It helped.
This is the time of year where there seems to be more hustle and bustle rather than peace and quiet.
You can make a choice to accept the invitation to rest.
I encourage you to do so.
If you care to take a moment to get away from it all and enjoy a few moments of rest I invite you to watch and listen to the following video.
Photo Courtesy of Creative Commons